Not Me
by saltedpineapple
Summary: Nasch buries Ryoga and his humanity in the only way he sees fitting for Ryoga. Hellshark. Spoilers for 126 on. Alternate timeline.


Nasch looked down at the souls of his, no, Yuma's friends all laying lifelessly on the ground. Then he saw him lying next to his brothers; the one dumb enough to call him his only friend. No, that wasn't right either. Ryoga was; and friend probably wasn't a fair description of their relationship the longer Nasch thought about it. Boyfriends, lovers, maybe if it was a different story with a different destiny soulmates might have even applied.

Destiny, perhaps IV was right. Perhaps his former self, his human self, wanted to use that duel to cling onto whatever humanity that he could; and Nasch was doing the opposite. And the terrifying thing was the whole time he could feel it scratch and burn in his chest with every declaration of hate toward IV, toward everyone. And he thought it would stop after the duel, but it only got worse. His human side burning inside him, twisting and pulling feelings of desperation straight down into the pit of his stomach. Nasch was physically ill from it. All Ryoga wanted was to go to Hell right along with IV. Penance for his betrayal of all those stupid enough to call him their friend. He wasn't a friend, only a monster, their greatest enemy. And he let his stupid, idiotic, overly loyal boyfriend die by his hand. Of course he deserved Hell, and his trip to not be delayed any longer.

But Nasch wouldn't let it happen. He still had purpose. He had to save the Barian World and all those who put their faith in his victory. And he would defeat all those who stood in his way. He'd defeat Yuma, kill him too if it came down to it. The thought of dueling Yuma was terrifying to Nasch. He knew Yuma and his never give up heart would win Ryoga back. He had done it countless times in the past, that much Nasch remembered. A smile, a laugh, and a desperate cry that were reserved solely for his Shark. Yuma would be his downfall, and that wasn't his destiny.

Nasch's gaze still hadn't shifted from IV's lifeless form on the ground. His hair was a mess, clothes still torn and face dirty. He felt that burn in his chest again as Ryoga hammered away inside of him. He wanted time, just a few fleeting moments, with IV. Even if it was only a touch to his cold face or a sorry that was way too late. Nasch swallowed thickly, trying to push the feeling away.

"I know," he breathed. Not really speaking to anyone- there wasn't anyone around. But he was acknowledging Ryoga's pain, probably for the first time since the duel. The burning grew dull until it was only a soft glow inside him.

"You're too much for me, Ryoga. A past that was all a lie, a boy that wasn't even alive; but yet, you're the one thing threatening this whole thing to unravel." Nasch shook his head, "do you really want to go to Hell?" He already knew the answer the boy couldn't verbalize himself. He felt the sure hum from inside him and he couldn't help but chuckle, "of course."

Nasch held out his hand, palm spread out toward IV. He felt everything inside him unravel and become unglued as he let go of Ryoga, burying whatever humanity he held with him. Ryoga's form began to materialize next to IV, lying still and unconcious as he was. Except for one thing, there was the softest smile on his face, his hand placed over his lover's.

The Barian closed his eyes, not wanting to look at the sight in front of him. He felt hollow and empty without Ryoga's fire inside him. There no longer was any pain of loss or despair over disloyality. This is what he wanted, though. This was what dueling IV was suppose to accomplish. He could now face Yuma and whoever else stood in his way with a clear view of his goal.

"You think that's going to help, Nasch?" A voice asked. It was thick and inky as it cut through the air. Nasch's eyes flew open as he turned around, his red cape fluttering through the air.

"Who is there?" Nasch asked when he didn't see anyone behind him.

"I'm disappointed," the voice laughed bitterly as it settled behind him, next to the sleeping humans. Nasch turned back around his eyes falling on Don Thousand's shadowy form.

"You-"

"You still think abandoning your humanity will lead you to victory?" Don Thousand taunted.

"I'm not human, it will only get in the way." Nasch said, not sure why he was even entertaining this conversation right now. He should be fighting, but he knew he couldn't take on God himself alone. He'd need Durbe and Merag's help.

"You've always been _too_ human, that's your problem, Nasch. You're a failed experiment and shouldn't even exist," Don Thousand spat as he looked down at the two sleeping forms, his foot kicking IV hard enough that his dead body flopped over onto Ryoga with a thud.

"Stop!" Nasch cried out before he could stop himself.

"Ah, see," Don Thousand laughed manically, "you shouldn't care, after all you just ditched your humanity."

Nasch's fists balled and shook at his sides. He was right, he shouldn't, then why...

"This human was suppose to execute you long before you even regained your memories," he said as he picked up IV by a bunch of his hair. "That's what I told Tron had to happen anyway. Kill you and your stupid sister. But the idiot fell in love instead." He tossed IV to the side, his face skidding on the ground, if he had been alive he would start bleeding all over again.

Nasch winced, as he stared at Ryoga's body all alone now. You wanted to rest in Hell with IV and... "You bastard." Nasch muttered under his breath, his voice shaking and cracking in anger.

Don Thousand chuckled, "that's right Nasch, get angry, get furious," he clapped his hands together, snapping Nasch's attention from the now separated lovers on the ground back up to him, "Oh I know. What if your precious knight and sister are in danger? Surely humanity free Nasch couldn't care less about these humans, but what about your real friends?"

A white flash grew behind Nasch's eyes as rage began to blind him, "why, you-" he went to lunge at Don Thousand, but his feet were rooted in place. "What the!" Thick black tentacles had wrapped around his ankles and thighs, anchoring him in place.

"Come now, let's go see what's happening together, what do you say?" He asked as he disappeared into the air.

Nasch struggled against the ever tightening grasp as the tentacles constricted around his torso and arms. In his struggle his gaze fell on Ryoga, who was no longer smiling. As the tentacles slid across his face, covering his eyes he could feel the tears collect there, he couldn't even do this right for his former self.

"I'm sorry, Ryoga," Nasch whispered as he too disappeared.


End file.
